Friday, October 23, 2009'♥
dark love ♥
Blog of another kind
I had created another blog at
http://www.theunfathomedenigma.wordpress.com and had imported my posts over
I hope to move... ...
But this blog remains... to be a platform for my story-telling and frictional writing, while I'm blog non-frictionally in my wordpress blog, adopting a more sophisticated writing.
But I supposed, I'm not going to advertise them, afterall, the fewer the people know, the better it is. But I sincerely do hope you would give me some comments too.
Blog of another kind
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Thursday, October 22, 2009'♥
dark love ♥
Smile Of Everything
When can I move out of the shadow of the tormented past experience and embrace the future all meant me out there? Isn't it time already? How long do have to wait...
I do not want to get entangled by the past of disquiet and grievances, let's go, let everything go, and it must be time to face myself...
It's time to flash my sweetly nonchalant smile again, engulfing the aged demon of darkness and despondency and gradually dissipating while brightening them with the colours I once possessed in the rainbow of my life. It's time to set my steady gaze on them and wait, for the most tolerant and courageous soul goes winning. It's time to make a mistake of a millennium, and never to be fearful of any failures as preponderant. It's time to put away the painted mask that betrayed my deep but true inner feelings, revealing my real and pure self, so that I would never have to feel guilt towards my loved ones who are so selflessly guiding me from a distance, showering me with renewed strength, seemingly to know it all. It's time to reminisce about them and believe in their beliefs for me.
Never fear, never fear, or otherwise everything back from scratch again. Who says others don't have their own melancholy, demoralising story of own to tell? But it's me, it's me, to overcome the subtle fear, that had governed my life for years, so downhearted, so heart-wrenching, but I have to fight on, wearing on my smile of solace and bliss, calming the disturbed ferocious hurricane of unknown dark forces gripping my soul with a metal chain.
There, I shall utter all them, to cease all the prolonged pain. If I ever failed, my smile will do the job, so is my heart and my soul who had been liberated now, if not a little chortle would be adequate. If still defeated, I shall then summon the tiny but powerful goddess within me, to extinguish all those fiery disquiet from a little wave of confidence that gushes and releases out the glamorous lights of hope and sweets of success.
But nothing can resist and remain insusceptible by my soothing smile of serenity and sparkles, manifesting the brilliance and sanguineness in me...
No longer that haunting feelings, that crestfallen, disturbing emotion that will hold to exist, be gone for good, that triumphant and serendipitous adrenaline that surge instead, to stride out of the dark shadow of the past; rejuvenated and ecstatic; Come on! Rock the World! (:Smile Of Everything
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Tuesday, October 20, 2009'♥
dark love ♥
Post-Exam
In our everyday lives, it can be almost redundant to give a thought on the sophistication of the world beyond, for it could be overwhelmed enough to contemplate about our present and future superficially, at most to the social aspect of survival and livelihood. But then, living in such world, already experienced somehow the diversities and beauty of life on Earth, it seems indeed ever so mystifying having to discover about the enigma of how all parts of lives are ultimately being pieced together into a bigger picture, giving much more meaning to life. In just a short period of my spare time to reading, learning about the existence of the black holes, entropy, theory of everything and Einstein's theory of relativity simply stunned me of the perfect construction of nature-work...
I would most ebulliently be left undisturbed to explore the piles of thick books of fantastic ideas on the universe as my feelings of mankind deepen and mature. However, supposedly post-exam period still busts with intense activities, especially with my involvement of the Cambodia trip and BAS as well as CCAs. My plan of going to the school library to do some background reading so as to complement the curriculum was also so fatefully ruined.
Anyway, Plans of Post-Exam as follows:
1. Start to study for 'O'Level syllabus from Nov.
2. Language Intensive+ Chinese preparation for 'O'level by 22 Oct
3. Leisure reading and to improve general knowledge (continued throughout the whole hols)
4. CCAs Self-Practise by 26 Oct
5. Physical Training by 22 Oct
6. Self-improvement program (continued throughout the whole hold)
7. projects Chiong- effectively working...
8. Brush up music and dance techniques.
Yah, what a fulfilled life with all aspects considered.
*All subjected to change.
Meanwhile, I have no choice but to so quickly move on to study for the Sec 4 syllabus because I plan to read when sch library re-open, which can deter school work, but or else where and when do I get the chance?
This year holiday is largely to catch-up, chiong and brush up all techniques and work. Forget about the fun, as it will be short-termed. Holiday is simply too short!
Don't worry of course, I know the importance of balance (:
Post-Exam
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Friday, October 16, 2009'♥
dark love ♥
CHINESE/ Addictions to Maths
I'm kinda infuriated by that the school library is taken by the sec fours! So I cannot go library and read my half read Goblet of fire or any other maths and sciences book which I would not have any other time to read them, especially during school period.
Chinese is great, Ms Tee had inspired me to work even harder for Chinese and strive for excellence in it, especially so when the world has increasing recognition of it. I'm gonna start my Language Intensive soon, because I have realised that my language hasn't improve any bit since primary six, now so many years to catch up, but I have done it before.
I have ignited passion for Maths and Sciences after reading my sister's book about Isaac Newton, a natural philosopher who discovered the binomial theorem, calculus, integrated calculus, differential, forces, and many more. I'm not sure if that's just a moment of passion or a rather prolonged dedication but I know I will never become a scientist or a mathematician when I grow up, because of all of their sacrifices, instead, I would take as much joy discovering and studying the natural laws already uncovered by fellow earlier geniuses.
In some of the books, I have found out that a take an average of 20 years for a slightly talented mathematician to prove a law and be a bit famous. Oh gosh, such a long time, therefore it can be concluded that an occupation like this never take you far, unless you are as talented as Newton or Einstein. But the fact is, most of them tend to avoid and shy away from the limelight, they prefer to work quietly. As in one of the book, "
Mathematicians' subtle trains of thought, minute considerations, and rigorous arguments do not lend themselves to infotainment. For better or worse, mathematics is a science with a low profile". Indeed, Newton himself had tried to keep all his findings and research in a secret and refused to share it with the world so as to avoid criticisms. Well then, I wonder, Why do all geniuses have such weird personalities, that's interesting remark, isn't it?
So, I'm gonna continue my study after a short break, really look forward to the much anticipated Calculus!
And I discovered I love writing, in English or Chinese, myabe that's my thrid love, Literature, I did not want to admit it for a long time because my language is not good and because it won;t aides in my dreams of getting 10A1s because it is already impossible to get high mark or 90+, I'm even considering taking it in JC, though it's quite unbelievable, but then writing can happen anytime. I will find time for it.
Going to take a peek at calculus, hahas!
CHINESE/ Addictions to Maths
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Thursday, October 15, 2009'♥
dark love ♥
Pre-post exams/Chinese Paper
Physics Paper 1 was inexplicably challenging though, but Biology paper 1 was very simple that I had finished it in no more than 20min and got quite a shock.
Well, It all left with Chinese paper, I'm feeling rather excited, having known that we would be siting for the 'O' Level Exams in less than a months' time! And it is the last paper before I would embark on speed-reading- I should not have compromised my reading time! ):
Actually, I had already begun reading yesterday where I spent no more than 15min on science revision, maybe it's because I have been revising so systematic that it had seemed easy, except for physics! But It's actually my second greatest love, which had been increasingly intensified after those leisure readings of the beautiful equations and Albert Einstein and his theory of relativity.
Mathematics, which had given lives hope and wonder, filled the world with awe because of its beautiful manifestation, as we uncovered the endless possibilities behind the intricacies and complexity of the phenomenal and mysterious meanings, is my greatest love somehow, after repeated cycle of failures and successes in it. I was glad that Mr Chan had failed to disappoint me and probably the whole cohort for such a difficult paper, though he had remarked that it is the easiest paper ever set, so that our knowledge base will grow, especially the part on trigonometry, don't you agree with me that the
Marks don't matter as much as learning do? Glad that we have an opportunity to learn, albeit our marks suffer.
I cannot wait to continue my readings! I was actually reading three books simultaneously! Wow, hope that I will persist! Chinese paper tomorrow, study hard today! I want an A1! I'll get focus...
I'll be back for update tomorrow (:
Pre-post exams/Chinese Paper
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Wednesday, October 14, 2009'♥
dark love ♥
Resumed Blogging
I had only spent 5min to study for chemistry yesterday and was so confident of today's paper. I think it should not be so easy. Well, that's confidence or complacency?
I reached home at 9.30am today and had all the luxury of time once in a while, but I realised that I still prefer the busy life in school. Well, I'll got it soon...
I vowed not to change blogskins ever again, because it took me days to get it done! Just a mere waste of time.
I got quite excited for the schedule planned during the Dec. Hols. It's kind of tight and busy, hope that I will stick with it.
Meanwhile, I want to get an A1 for Chinese!! Let try this Prelim (:
Resumed Blogging
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Friday, October 9, 2009'♥
dark love ♥
Such a Failure
One week of demanding EOYs....
There were many mistakes and failures, particularly that i was faring below my potential and expectation.
I am pertinacious to catch up with our my work during my short December holiday- which is about 1mth. I think I am really very behind rest of the masses. What's worse is that I had compromised other areas of my lives for my study and still did not do very well. This year, secondary three was the climax of the secondary life, and it is about to end in a moment. It's sad because I haven;t reap anything for it. I think I had worked the hardest this year, and still not getting the result I coveted.
But then, some subjects were very okay. I think I shouild get up on my feets and do my best. after all, that dream of mine is to be come true. I'll see, and everyone will.
Such a Failure
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